taste for love
February 15, 2009
about a week ago, i had a dream about Amelie. It went something like this:
I was violently angry at her, jut very done with the back and forth of everything and I was just pushing her over and over again, and i was rushing down this long wall of doors. It was merely a wall in the middle of nowhere with doors going on forever and every time I got to the next door, I had to push her out. Shove her.
I woke up the next morning having this really vivid memory of the dream. I told Jay about the dream. A few days later, he was having dinner with Amelie who tells him she had this dream about me–that my dad died and I was very upset that she didn’t go to the funeral, let alone call me.
The day before I realized that she never called me anymore–that it was always me, and she only txted or facebooked me. Now, for the past week I’ve been going back and forth about confronting her and saying, “Look, this is really no coincidence.”
And then, yesterday happened.
At a Speech Tournament I was judging at, I was assigned to judge the final round of Novice Poetry Interpretation. Three poets had poems dealing with love, and I started thinking about her. I started crying. And this girl who was reading these poems was speaking directly to me. It was bone-shilling and upsetting.
For now, I’m just going to bottle it up. But it won’t be long before I fizz out.
